Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Funny Writing - Slithery Things

It's been a while, but I'm back with some more verses for the Funny Writing troves.  These lines are wonderful little credits that serve as reminders to be careful how you write.  Be especially careful with tautologies and idioms.  Double-speak makes it seem as though you cannot speak concisely, and mixing up your idioms might guarantee a possibly laughable disaster.  However, if you intend to create something funny?  Go for it!  Use these lighthouse examples to light your way!

She slithered into his ear as he turned away from her...  (Ew.  I guess he has brain worms now, eh?  Or a giant head filled with snaky ladies.)

I saw the guy with the lighter disappear in the background by walking off to his room.  (I don't think he disappeared if she saw go into his room.)

My eyes widened in shock at the amount of bullets inserted into his chest...  (Whaaat...?  Inserted, you say?  Who could have done this?!  A surgeon did this?  Did he use tongs?  Whaaat...?)

I padded my feet on the cold floor and I walked normally up the stairs.  (This paints a very awkward walk, my friends.)

I felt something cold in my hand growing out onto the bed which I ignored.  (The writer was talking about icicles, haha!  That almost began to sound like abominable snowman porn.  The sad thing is...the bed was ignored.)

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